Clergy Killers-- Forced Terminations Gone Wild

It was not a text that I was looking for... but it came anyway.  At the end of rehearsal today when I was thanking God for all that he had provided a buddy of mine wrote that he had been terminated at his church.

My heart immediately sank and my thoughts quickly traveled across the country to him and his family.  As quickly as I could get away to my office I called to see how he was doing.

I know how he feels.  In January of 2005 this happened to me.  It was not our idea and to be frankly honest it was not even on my radar that this could happen..but it did.  It happens to one in four ministers.

While talking to my friend today, I remember the night that I had to tell my kids what had happened. My youngest, now 13, was just a boy and I remember his little head bowed and tears running down his face as he looked up and said "why don't they want us anymore?"  It was the beginning of many lessons in church life for him.

One in three congregations has a a history of terminating pastors.  Some of them have the reputations of "clergy killers" or "staff eaters".  Now isn't that a nice thing to be said about the local body of Christ.

As far as I can tell, my friend was the victim of an "unhealthy culture" at this church and as a therapist once said to me "the dysfunctional system will either try to change you or reject you." I reminded my friend of that today--that he had been kicked out of a dysfunctional system.

A Baptist help line volunteer put it this way about forced terminations for pastors: Barney Self said this in a Baptist Press article.

Self said. "[T]hey don't just lose a job like you or I would. They don't just lose their ministries; they lose their house, their church, their friends. Often their families are uprooted."

I promised this friend that we would not forget him.  In fact the next 15 minutes after my call was spent in texting and twittering a network of friends who know him to begin praying for him and his family.  And we will do what we always do when one of our own is fallen. We surround them with love and care, and we activate our networks (which are older than social media itself) to help this man find a place where he can be healed and restored.  Isn't that what the body of Christ is suppose to do?

Pastors Wives--Help For Forced Termination

Healing Place

Pastors!--Shape Up or Ship Out!

(Disclaimer: I am writing this note to fellow pastors, but also to remind myself where I've come from and where I don't want to return to)

Pastors! Shape up or ship out! That's how I feel today after talking to an insurance rep today who said "Pastors are some of the most out of shape people--and other pastors are paying for it"

Obesity in the ministry has risen to new heights. Just take a look at a religious paper or magazine and you'll see people who are overweight, out of shape and headed for physical ruin.

I write this note because I'm pointing fingers, but because I was one of them. This time last year I was sporting some 50 pounds of blubber, heavier and out of breath. By God's grace I've been able to overcome that and now feel better about myself, my ministry and my future. All I'm saying is if I can do it you can do it too.

Here are some steps to take:

1. Determine that you are going to change. You have the Holy Spirit to help you! Ask for the Lord's help.

2. Make a plan--join weight watchers, write down you food intake in a journal, log into an exercise website to keep you accountable ( I use http://411fit.uncc.edu)

3. Make some goals--start small and attainable. Make them measurable and able to be accomplished. Little goals add up to larger goals.

4. Announce your plans to a group--they'll keep you accountable.

5. Make it part of your discipline--you do it spiritually, why not do it physically!

6. Exercise--walk (everyone can walk) and then build up to something you love to do ( I love to run!)

Most of the cost of insurance for ministers doesn't go to help the healthy, it goes to those who have yet to claim their part in their health by keeping their body presentable to God's service. I read today that ministers may not struggle with earthly things, but they may substitute food for those other earthly lusts which so easily entangle. Food can become an addiction if we're not careful.

So, pastors (all pastors) Shape up! Your congregation will love you for it and we'll all benefit from healthier pastors.

Rt:Clergy Recovery