During this week, I've tried to steal away a couple of minutes each day to collect my thoughts and process what I've been hearing from the speakers. Before this week I was drawn to Cross Point (Nashville) Church and their series PLAN B. You can listen to the series here
I'm about half way through the series and it's really good. Pete Wilson (Lead Pastor) is walking through biblical stories of Plan B's (when the things of life that we thought would happen-didn't) and giving real life stories from his congregation.
Yesterday was an eye opener. Pete stated that sometimes our faith becomes entangled in our dreams-thus, when our dreams don't come true or to pass, our faith diminishes. Hold on--wait a minute, who let this guy in my office to call me out!
Wow! I just had to put down my pen and paper and weep for a moment. That was me!
I've been a believer a long time and I guess I never had thought about this (though most certainly I had felt it's effects). I'm a dreamer--I love to dream. I dream of dreams--it's just who I am, and so naturally I chase after dreams too. And ultimately, I've met the end of many dreams that never were to come to pass or to be fulfilled. Pete nailed me--because I guess I had attached so many of these dreams to my faith--no wonder the let down and the anguish in my soul when these dreams don't pan out. (I've even toyed with never dreaming again---that lasted about 3 hours). Most certainly I confess that I wondered many times why God had dealt me this card or that card--and was he punishing me and teasing me with these dreams.
That explains the helpless and lost feelings that I've experienced in those moments. When I thought God had abandoned me, he hadn't-the dream was just never meant to be. At least not for now.
I remember the line from Bruce Wilkinson's book THE DREAM GIVER. My heart pounded as I poured through that book so fast. When I reached the point in the book where I must give up the dream to pursue the dreamgiver--I wept. I felt it so in my soul. I knew that it was true--the dream must never be the journey, but the pursuit of the dream giver has to be the journey.
One of the songs we closed with tonight was SURRENDER by Mark James. You know the line I'm getting ready to highlight
"I'm giving up my dreams, laying down my rights....for the promise of new lifeI surrender, all to you, all to you."
So, do I give up on the dream... never! I just need to make sure that my faith in God is always stronger than my dreams. He's the dream giver.