Help! My Plane Won't Start

It was going to be a great day.  Early start to the morning taking Robert Comeaux back to the airport to catch the flight to the Big Easy and then return my car.
I got to the AA counter and they said "Mr. Drake, would you like to go early?"  I said "Sure".   Made my way to the gate and met up with this guy and who is friends with  this guy and this guy
Landed in Dallas at 10:45 and boarded first plane at 12:15----then sat until 1:00.  Plane won't start.  Deplane--wait again until 1:30....then sat until 2:45...and deplaned again.  Now waiting until 4:00 to get on the plane to Lubbock.  I could have been there by now if my "PLANE" hadn't broken down.

What's your best "delay" story in flying?  I'm a legend in Snyder for travelling issues?